Caliope's Corner
January 20, 2019, 12:32:42 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
 
   Home   Help Arcade Search Member Map Calendar Links Login Register  
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 7  All   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: A joke a day  (Read 19354 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Caliope
Administrator
*******
United Kingdom

Reputation 22
Offline Offline

Location: Here, you dummy
Posts: 23264


Cute or what!


« on: October 08, 2015, 01:23:34 PM »

Good or bad submit yours...



I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer, I dunno what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.

Logged

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you dont have a good partner, youd better have a good hand.
Caliope
Administrator
*******
United Kingdom

Reputation 22
Offline Offline

Location: Here, you dummy
Posts: 23264


Cute or what!


« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2015, 07:07:30 AM »

Three men die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the pearly gates.

They are all asked: 'When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning, what would you like to hear them say about you?'

The first guy says: 'I would like to hear them say that I was the greatest doctor of my time, and a great family man.'
The second guy says: 'I would like to hear that I was a school teacher who made a huge difference.'
The last guy replies: 'I would like to hear them say... "LOOK .. HE'S MOVING!"'
Logged

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you dont have a good partner, youd better have a good hand.
K@
Incomplete Idiot
Most Valued Member
*******

Reputation 20
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Age: 62
Location: Pancake rolls.
Posts: 18014


I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.


WWW
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2015, 05:37:17 PM »

I'm no good at jokes.

My big thing's magic.  grin
Logged

Caliope
Administrator
*******
United Kingdom

Reputation 22
Offline Offline

Location: Here, you dummy
Posts: 23264


Cute or what!


« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2015, 11:17:29 PM »

I'm no good at jokes.

My big thing's magic.  grin

Yeah, it just disappears  evilgrin
Logged

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you dont have a good partner, youd better have a good hand.
K@
Incomplete Idiot
Most Valued Member
*******

Reputation 20
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Age: 62
Location: Pancake rolls.
Posts: 18014


I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.


WWW
« Reply #4 on: October 10, 2015, 11:04:12 AM »

 :raspy
Logged

Caliope
Administrator
*******
United Kingdom

Reputation 22
Offline Offline

Location: Here, you dummy
Posts: 23264


Cute or what!


« Reply #5 on: October 12, 2015, 08:00:56 AM »

I was in Thailand recently and I picked up one of them she-man's. I mean, I thought she was a women at first.

It wasn't until she drove me back to her place and she started backing into the garage that I thought to myself "Hang on a f%$king minute...."
Logged

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you dont have a good partner, youd better have a good hand.
K@
Incomplete Idiot
Most Valued Member
*******

Reputation 20
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Age: 62
Location: Pancake rolls.
Posts: 18014


I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.


WWW
« Reply #6 on: October 12, 2015, 07:09:15 PM »

 evilgrin
Logged

Caliope
Administrator
*******
United Kingdom

Reputation 22
Offline Offline

Location: Here, you dummy
Posts: 23264


Cute or what!


« Reply #7 on: October 13, 2015, 07:41:22 AM »

Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day, and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me!"

Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot wine and splashes it on Marie's lips. "What are you doing, Pierre?", says the startled Marie.

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!" She smiles and they start kissing. When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower."

Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts. "Pierre! What are you doing?", asks the bewildered Marie.

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!"

They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, Pierre, kiss me lower!"

Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep in the water, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, "PIERRE, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Our hero stands up defiantly and says, "I am Pierre the fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!"
Logged

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you dont have a good partner, youd better have a good hand.
K@
Incomplete Idiot
Most Valued Member
*******

Reputation 20
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Age: 62
Location: Pancake rolls.
Posts: 18014


I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.


WWW
« Reply #8 on: October 13, 2015, 10:41:35 AM »

He never did...
Logged

Caliope
Administrator
*******
United Kingdom

Reputation 22
Offline Offline

Location: Here, you dummy
Posts: 23264


Cute or what!


« Reply #9 on: October 13, 2015, 10:45:38 AM »

He never did...

he did  whisper
Logged

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you dont have a good partner, youd better have a good hand.
Caliope
Administrator
*******
United Kingdom

Reputation 22
Offline Offline

Location: Here, you dummy
Posts: 23264


Cute or what!


« Reply #10 on: October 14, 2015, 07:33:35 AM »

A few quickies....


My lesbian friends got me a really nice Rolex for my birthday, but I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.


Do Siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?


How fast do hotcakes sell?

Logged

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you dont have a good partner, youd better have a good hand.
Caliope
Administrator
*******
United Kingdom

Reputation 22
Offline Offline

Location: Here, you dummy
Posts: 23264


Cute or what!


« Reply #11 on: October 15, 2015, 07:31:15 AM »

Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?

Why is it called a funny bone, when if you hit it, it's not funny at all?

If there's a speed of sound and a speed of light is there a speed of smell?
Logged

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you dont have a good partner, youd better have a good hand.
K@
Incomplete Idiot
Most Valued Member
*******

Reputation 20
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Age: 62
Location: Pancake rolls.
Posts: 18014


I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.


WWW
« Reply #12 on: October 15, 2015, 09:48:16 AM »

Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?

I've found the opposite to be the case...
Logged

fred
Global Moderator
*****
Wales

Reputation 15
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Age: 59
Location: Cymru
Posts: 5139


in Seine


WWW
« Reply #13 on: October 17, 2015, 12:27:39 PM »

rugby

[attachment deleted by admin]
Logged

O'r holl gerbydau'r Byd a gf
Yr elor yw yr olaf
Caliope
Administrator
*******
United Kingdom

Reputation 22
Offline Offline

Location: Here, you dummy
Posts: 23264


Cute or what!


« Reply #14 on: October 19, 2015, 07:26:28 AM »

Ooh.....
Logged

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you dont have a good partner, youd better have a good hand.
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 7  All   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Save hedghogs from Strimmers
Total Twaddle
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.19 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.049 seconds with 23 queries.

Google visited last this page December 07, 2018, 06:56:31 AM