Caliope's Corner
January 20, 2019, 12:54:45 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
 
   Home   Help Arcade Search Member Map Calendar Links Login Register  
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Bits and Pieces  (Read 3552 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Caliope
Administrator
*******
United Kingdom

Reputation 22
Offline Offline

Location: Here, you dummy
Posts: 23264


Cute or what!


« on: July 08, 2014, 02:14:52 PM »

A few (mainly) one liners I've found laying around....

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.


Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.
If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.


The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Logged

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
K@
Incomplete Idiot
Most Valued Member
*******

Reputation 20
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Age: 62
Location: Pancake rolls.
Posts: 18014


I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.


WWW
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2014, 08:28:32 PM »

True enough.

Jane hates me doing weeding... You can probably guess why...
Logged

Caliope
Administrator
*******
United Kingdom

Reputation 22
Offline Offline

Location: Here, you dummy
Posts: 23264


Cute or what!


« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2014, 12:24:15 AM »

 cheers
Logged

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
K@
Incomplete Idiot
Most Valued Member
*******

Reputation 20
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Age: 62
Location: Pancake rolls.
Posts: 18014


I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.


WWW
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2014, 10:57:50 AM »

Not that I do anything wrong, deliberately, to get out of ever doing it, again...  Angel
Logged

Caliope
Administrator
*******
United Kingdom

Reputation 22
Offline Offline

Location: Here, you dummy
Posts: 23264


Cute or what!


« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2014, 09:27:41 PM »

Fibber  goofy wink
Logged

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
Caliope
Administrator
*******
United Kingdom

Reputation 22
Offline Offline

Location: Here, you dummy
Posts: 23264


Cute or what!


« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2014, 08:34:04 AM »

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Logged

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
Caliope
Administrator
*******
United Kingdom

Reputation 22
Offline Offline

Location: Here, you dummy
Posts: 23264


Cute or what!


« Reply #6 on: September 19, 2014, 08:58:30 PM »

I told my psychiatrist that I've been hearing voices. He told me that I don't have a psychiatrist.


If you lose your shoe at the end of the night, you’re not Cinderella. You’re probably just drunk.


I’m opening a healthy alternative all egg-white omelet breakfast joint. I really think my “Whites Only!” restaurant idea will be a hit!
Logged

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
fred
Global Moderator
*****
Wales

Reputation 15
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Age: 59
Location: Cymru
Posts: 5139


in Seine


WWW
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2014, 09:25:33 AM »

I like this new diet.

It's called a see food diet.
Logged

O'r holl gerbydau'r Byd a gâf
Yr elor yw yr olaf
Caliope
Administrator
*******
United Kingdom

Reputation 22
Offline Offline

Location: Here, you dummy
Posts: 23264


Cute or what!


« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2014, 10:49:04 PM »

In the word "scent" is it the s that is silent or the c?

If you need some help at B & Q and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders...
Logged

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
K@
Incomplete Idiot
Most Valued Member
*******

Reputation 20
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Age: 62
Location: Pancake rolls.
Posts: 18014


I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.


WWW
« Reply #9 on: September 23, 2014, 01:12:32 PM »

... or start waving a weed wand around...  evilgrin
Logged

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Save hedghogs from Strimmers
Total Twaddle
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.19 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.059 seconds with 23 queries.

Google visited last this page October 03, 2018, 10:06:11 AM